Solar Eclipse {Fic}
Jul. 2nd, 2024 02:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
abyssal_sylphFandom: OMORI
Rating: Mature
Warning(s: Suicidal POV character, Referenced Child Death, Romanized Incest & Age Gap.
Relationship(s): Mari ♥ Sunny
Character(s): Sunny, Mari is focused on heavily but not there, Others Referenced/Implied.
(additional) Tags: Sunny POV, Grief, no smut, angst, likely unrequited love, bittersweet ending.
Word Count: 693 words
Summary: Sunny doesn't move on from Mari, he simply survives.
AO3 echo [Note: fill for the prompt "the ghost of you" from my![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
allbingo card]
Knowing why his sister wasn’t there anymore didn’t make it hurt any less.
He’s gone from everything that would remind him of her. He’s no longer in Faraway, his friends are too struck by rightful anger and reopened grief to talk to him, his father has long since gone away. It’s just him and mom now, in their new apartment, walls periwinkle and trying to be people again.
But… to call it the whole truth would mean he was still lying to himself.
He’s known her his entire life; his first friend had been Mari, his first word was Mari, his first love was (is) Mari. Younger Sunny couldn’t imagine not having Mari in his life, it would be like asking him to imagine life with any plants or animals, it could be done, logically speaking, but what would be the point? Everything that made life worth it was filtered through Mari’s enchanting soul.
It makes sense that his brain blocked out the fact that she was dead, that he killed her. Sunny wished Mari had killed him instead, the world didn’t need him, it was so, so much more wonderful and beautiful with her in it. Mari would’ve made the world a better place where he would struggle.
But Sunny has to remember the truth.
He still cries at night while falling asleep, he still has trouble eating without Mari’s soft voice, he still has days where he wants to drown himself in the river, hoping to see Mari at the edge of Heaven and apologize for the sin he committed against her before he’s placed where he actually belongs.
But Mari wouldn’t want him to die young, let alone by suicide, even if he is older now at sixteen than she’ll ever be.
So he will, no matter how hard it is.
It hurts; it hurts knowing this hurt does nothing; It’s suffering for suffering’s sake. None of it will ever bring back the one he’s suffering for, it won’t even bring her comfort.
He looks through his bedroom window. The stars he adored no longer shine for him, for the city lights all drown them out. Only the moon is visible, it tastes like a taunt. He wants to reach out, to make his long gone love into the metaphor in his head. She deserved to be something that grand, that beloved by thousands, by the world. Mari deserved to be worshiped by everyone like he does.
Sunny wonders if she’s happy, wherever she is.
Heaven, he was told, was the place where all suffering ended. Where all you could want and more was in one place. Everyone you missed from life would return to you and you would never need to worry for a thing again.
He hopes so, he hopes she’ll be happier than he could.
Sunny thinks there’s something broken in him. He doesn’t remember when the rot settled into his soul. It wasn’t quick, it didn’t make him angry nor did it hurt. He just became emptier the more he lived on. Mari wasn’t a cure, but she might as well have been miracle medicine. Mari made the world light up when every other emotion was dimming or dying. Funny, wasn’t it? How everything good was twisted into something worse than his rot by him.
Sunny was a lot of things; but he wasn’t stupid. He knew the love of his sister would be unacceptable. That the moment Mari would know, the best reaction would be her setting him down and explaining why he should smother the light in his soul that still persisted even when everything else died an empty death. It would’ve almost been worse that way, at least with her anger, she would no longer talk to him, she would be truly untouchable that way.
In the end, he guesses, he made the final choice for the both of them.
Sunny lies in bed, pretending that the pillow is Mari’s soft hands. Mari would’ve wanted Sunny to forgive himself, to move on, to live even if she couldn’t.
Sunny would never stop loving her, and that means he’ll survive this, no matter what.
Rating: Mature
Warning(s: Suicidal POV character, Referenced Child Death, Romanized Incest & Age Gap.
Relationship(s): Mari ♥ Sunny
Character(s): Sunny, Mari is focused on heavily but not there, Others Referenced/Implied.
(additional) Tags: Sunny POV, Grief, no smut, angst, likely unrequited love, bittersweet ending.
Word Count: 693 words
Summary: Sunny doesn't move on from Mari, he simply survives.
AO3 echo [Note: fill for the prompt "the ghost of you" from my
allbingo card]Knowing why his sister wasn’t there anymore didn’t make it hurt any less.
He’s gone from everything that would remind him of her. He’s no longer in Faraway, his friends are too struck by rightful anger and reopened grief to talk to him, his father has long since gone away. It’s just him and mom now, in their new apartment, walls periwinkle and trying to be people again.
But… to call it the whole truth would mean he was still lying to himself.
He’s known her his entire life; his first friend had been Mari, his first word was Mari, his first love was (is) Mari. Younger Sunny couldn’t imagine not having Mari in his life, it would be like asking him to imagine life with any plants or animals, it could be done, logically speaking, but what would be the point? Everything that made life worth it was filtered through Mari’s enchanting soul.
It makes sense that his brain blocked out the fact that she was dead, that he killed her. Sunny wished Mari had killed him instead, the world didn’t need him, it was so, so much more wonderful and beautiful with her in it. Mari would’ve made the world a better place where he would struggle.
But Sunny has to remember the truth.
He still cries at night while falling asleep, he still has trouble eating without Mari’s soft voice, he still has days where he wants to drown himself in the river, hoping to see Mari at the edge of Heaven and apologize for the sin he committed against her before he’s placed where he actually belongs.
But Mari wouldn’t want him to die young, let alone by suicide, even if he is older now at sixteen than she’ll ever be.
So he will, no matter how hard it is.
It hurts; it hurts knowing this hurt does nothing; It’s suffering for suffering’s sake. None of it will ever bring back the one he’s suffering for, it won’t even bring her comfort.
He looks through his bedroom window. The stars he adored no longer shine for him, for the city lights all drown them out. Only the moon is visible, it tastes like a taunt. He wants to reach out, to make his long gone love into the metaphor in his head. She deserved to be something that grand, that beloved by thousands, by the world. Mari deserved to be worshiped by everyone like he does.
Sunny wonders if she’s happy, wherever she is.
Heaven, he was told, was the place where all suffering ended. Where all you could want and more was in one place. Everyone you missed from life would return to you and you would never need to worry for a thing again.
He hopes so, he hopes she’ll be happier than he could.
Sunny thinks there’s something broken in him. He doesn’t remember when the rot settled into his soul. It wasn’t quick, it didn’t make him angry nor did it hurt. He just became emptier the more he lived on. Mari wasn’t a cure, but she might as well have been miracle medicine. Mari made the world light up when every other emotion was dimming or dying. Funny, wasn’t it? How everything good was twisted into something worse than his rot by him.
Sunny was a lot of things; but he wasn’t stupid. He knew the love of his sister would be unacceptable. That the moment Mari would know, the best reaction would be her setting him down and explaining why he should smother the light in his soul that still persisted even when everything else died an empty death. It would’ve almost been worse that way, at least with her anger, she would no longer talk to him, she would be truly untouchable that way.
In the end, he guesses, he made the final choice for the both of them.
Sunny lies in bed, pretending that the pillow is Mari’s soft hands. Mari would’ve wanted Sunny to forgive himself, to move on, to live even if she couldn’t.
Sunny would never stop loving her, and that means he’ll survive this, no matter what.
